ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light

[synchronizer]

Characters: Locked to the clinic folk and Akiha.
Date: Thursday morning.
Summary: Something is not right in the state of Kohaku's mind.
Warnings: Self harm for sure and other triggers possible. I won't rate it R but please be cautious.

also ridiculously tsukihime formatted i'm sorry

Picking plants.

Cutting stems. Observing. State of the status quo: no guide home. Her sister is gone. And her sister had started losing her smile just when Kohaku had arrived.

How much good has she done? Snip snip. Is this what she's been planning for all these years, to put aside her revenge for a new home, working under the same girl, snip snip. The Tohno house doesn't have Makihisa's rooms anymore, snip, cut, but it still has the same scent so familiar to her since when she was a child. Since when her body was used. Cut, place in the basket, gather more. This doesn't seem fair. Happily ever after in the form of silken white gowns and lilies and women. Snip. Her hand is bleeding, but she can't feel it.

If she pretends that part of her hand belongs to a doll, then there's no pain at all. It's not a big wound, so she'll keep cutting those special plants. It doesn't matter if a little blood gets on them. It won't effect the final solution if she washes them. Then she can go back to making medicine and then she can cook dinner for Akiha-sama and then she can slowly forget the fact that she'd been plotting revenge against her with a perfectly poised smile.

'Even dimensions wringing my life didn't change the status quo.
I'm still a maid to the Tohno household.
I'm still a medicine maker.
I still smile and act cheerful even though Hisui has long left.
I there's nothing except a fabrication of hate I can't let go of.'

Those were the thoughts that past through her mind. Does a doll ask why? No. A doll sits and fulfills her purpose. As long as she pretended her heart was carved out of woodwork, her lips sewn into one constant smile, that was okay. She could make every single part of her body a doll. Even though months had past in a new place, she couldn't find it in her heart to forgive anything.

That's the only time a why surfaced in her mind.

'Why... should I?'

What difference did a few months make in comparison to her entire childhood up until now? The cut on her fingers was actually longer than she had first thought, what with her mantra of getting the task done under her perfect smile. Her apron was starting to get covered in drops of blood, her heart pulsing and beating faster as the mantra in her head shifted.

'Why should I. Why should I. Why should I. Why should I. Why should I. Why should I. Why should I. Why should I. Why should I. Why should I. Why should I. Why should I. Why should I. Why should I. Why should I. Why should I. Why should I. Why should I. Why should I. Why should I. Why should I. Why should I. Why should I. Why should I. Why should I. Why should I. Why should I. Why should I. Why should I. Why should I. Why should I. Why should I. Why should I. Why should I. Why should I. Why should I. Why should I. Why should I. Why should I. Why should I. Why should I. Why should I.'

Staring blankly at her bleeding hand, as if a record had begun to skip on those three words.

Why should I?